Dyslexia Annoys Me

I realised today I have known for I am dyslexic for roughly about 12 years. I found out when I was at college, enrolled on a GNVQ intermediate Media Course. Prior to this, I had always known/thought that I was not smart and a below average student. Whilst at school I liked to be silly and whilst I did try to get on with my studies I always struggled. For the first few years of secondary school I received help called learning support only it stopped when I got to the last 2 years, which in my opinion was ridiculous as those are probably the most important years of a youngsters school life. Any way like I said whilst at college I was encouraged to take a Dyslexia assessment, which of course revealed that I was/am dyslexic. The thing is though it made me angry, probably more angry than I have ever been in my whole life. I was so damned angry that I became a absolute horrid person. I quit college, worked in a crappy tacky supermarket and spent my wages each week by going to the pub getting pissed and then topping off the night by heading to the classiest(and only)club in Aldershot,Cheeks!. I did this for about 18 months and I found myself being bored of stacking shelves day after day, getting abuse from shop lifters and customers and generally going no where in life.
So I went back to college and started on the GNVQ Intermediate Media course yet again fully intending to complete the course this time. Looking back at it now, I realise actually the course was fairly easy, but back in 1998-1999 it was really hard but I got through it. The one thing I remember more than anything about the course was an assignment I had from a young lecturer called Ian. For 4 months he made me redo an assignment about genres. My assignment was about the Wes Craven film Scream and rather than talking about how the film fitted into the horror genre, I just wrote a rather crappy review about the film. This really was my dyslexia coming into effect, as rather than read the assignment properly, I only read/understood it partly and completely missed the point. Through that year I was incredibly nervous about actually passing the course but eventually I did complete it and then I went onto GNVQ Advanced Media course, which was a 2 year course and would be a lot harder. Again I struggled and eventually prevailed, after this I decided I wanted to go to University and to pursue a career in the film industry. Before I move on to University, I want to talk about my time at college some more.
When I went back to college to retake my GNVQ, I did not know any one on the course, which was kind of weird and really made me nervous. At the time , unknown to me I was falling out with my school friends. Since we had all left school, I started to drift apart from them and the fact that when I found out I was dyslexic, I became rather vile and horrid really did not help matters. So when I eventually fell out with my school friends I felt really alone. I felt no one understood me and how much I struggled with my dyslexia and I think it's safe to say, that if I stayed in and did nothing, it really would not of been good me. Luckily for me , whilst at college I had made a few new friends. As a way to hide how nervous my dyslexia made me feel, I used to be quite loud, attempt to be witty and act extremely rude towards a lot of people, but a lot of my new friends thought this was quite funny, which at times it would be. I would like to think that I never did it to upset any one and only did it to lighten the mood of the class room at time, but looking back now, I cant help but think maybe I was a bit of a bully.
Out of these new friends I made, there are really only 2 that I am still in contact with, and with out a doubt these 2 made my life so much more enjoyable and really helped make me into who I am today. First there is Andrea, who is with out a doubt the first real girl friend I have ever had, not as in boyfriend/girl friend, but just a friend who is a girl. Since I first met her, we have just always got on, whether its to do with music, film , books and even real life, through out the time I have known her she has always wanted to break into the film industry too.
Then there is Ross, who was the first person to speak to me when I joined the GNVQ and since that day we have been friends. He is my best friend and he's been there for me when I have had my highs and my lows. In some respects I feel at times like I have failed him as a friend, especially since moving away from Aldershot. Whilst I still do see Ross, I really don't see enough of him and I do miss the fact that he's not a few miles down the road. If I had not made friends with Ross and Andrea, then I don't think I would of been able to complete the GNVQ. Every assignment was a really difficult, but when ever I needed to get away from the college and unwind they would always be there for me. So whilst my dyslexia often made me feel very angry and annoyed and it made it difficult for me to get my ideas on to paper and often made me regret going back to college, It did enable me to meet my 2 best (and longest known)friends.